A Modest Theory of Regret

The way I see it, a man has just about a hundred regrets for every thing that goes right in his life. Anyone who says they live without any regret--well, they're either lying, or they're patently not a person. It's inconceivable to me how anyone could genuinely say such a thing and mean it. Regret comes from hindsight of some ill-fated experience, or a mistake--something that could have been avoided, something bad. It seems quite plausible to me that his kind of regret is evolutionarily beneficial to the survival of our species. Such a feeling helps us to learn from our mistakes; it has roots in practicality. There is a different kind of regret, however, that seems a bit more tragic.

There is a regret that comes from missing an opportunity, a distinct result of inaction. This kind of regret seems very common. People are afraid to take risks; more and more, as technology and media nullify our perception, it seems like we as a species are becoming comfortable with a sort of empty complacency. And when we realize what we've lost in hindsight, that's a kind of regret I think we call all identify with. I mean, sure, it's great to say, "live life to it's fullest, with no regrets." Carpe diem, right? Give it a brief superficial glance, and it's a nice little philosophy for those unfamiliar with some of the harsh realities of life. It's a great philosophy for people not familiar with this thing called pain.

Regret is unavoidable. Worrying about having regrets is equivalent to worrying about the sun coming up in the morning. It's going to naturally present itself at some point. Fear is a primal emotion--one that is fundamental to our survival. And yet, there are many instances in which fear actually prevents us from fulfilling our highest ambitions. But such fear is there for a reason. Without it, the rewards of such risks would seem less significant. But all too often we rationalize ourselves out of doing what we really want. We say to ourselves, "there are other things out of my control stopping me. Perhaps another time...perhaps another time." Ultimately, all things being equal, I think it's better to regret things that you have done than things you haven't.